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Stop Being So Sensitive
“You need to grow a thicker skin, Nayla.” I heard this often growing up from well-intentioned adults who wanted me to change because they knew that the harsh world out there wouldn’t. I can remember holding my arms out determinedly, thinking, “Yes, I will do it!” I’d squeeze my eyes shut tight and try my…
The Art of Slowing Down
Today was one of those blazing hot pre-summer days in Ottawa. I decided to brave the sun and run some errands, thinking I could get a jump-start on my to-do list. As I was driving home, however, I got stuck behind one of those incredibly slow street sweeper trucks. The person behind startled me with…
Your Personalized Emotional ER
The holiday season is upon us and this can be both a joyful and / or challenging time for various reasons. One of my favourite exercises during any stressful period is to map out strategies that can help, using the Emotional ER metaphor. These are strategies that you can use when you’re feeling completely overwhelmed…
Internal Checks and Balances
When I feel overwhelmed by situations or decisions, I do a little self-coaching to help me tap into the wisdom of my head, heart, and gut: Head: What are the facts? What cognitive biases may be at play for me? Heart: What feelings does this situation evoke within me? What are those feelings trying to…
Balancing Polarities in Difficult Conversations
We balance a lot of different polarities when we have difficult conversations. Sometimes we need to focus on dialing up assertiveness, risk, and speaking up… but this doesn’t mean that we need to totally let go of empathy, safety and deep listening. We can do both. These polarities may each be balanced differently at any…
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