If aliens arrived tomorrow, what’s the first thing you’d ask them?
I’ve survived job interviews, blind dates, and one extremely tense potluck, but none of them prepared me for the pressure of greeting an alien.
My first instinct was to ask “Why are you here?” It felt responsible. Firm. Very “Please fill out this customs form: business or pleasure?”
But that question shows up with its arms crossed. Nobody’s ever felt welcome after being asked to state their intentions at the door.
So I swung the other way, toward wonder: “What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen that humans can’t even imagine yet?” Lovely! Poetic! Also deeply presumptuous, because it assumes the aliens know what humans can imagine. I’d basically assigned a stranger homework on arrival.
Eventually I landed on the one that felt right: “How can I make you feel welcome?” It’s kind. It’s humble. It’s what you say to a houseguest holding a suitcase.
Then came the obvious snag… what if they’re hostile? I tried adding “…while keeping everyone safe,” which turned it into the world’s most polite hostage negotiation. Still, the idea held up. You can be warm without handing over the keys.
And then I realized the bigger problem. Maybe leading with any question is the mistake. In some cultures, a barrage of questions at first meeting is rude. In others, it’s a sign you don’t know your place. For all I know, the aliens consider “Hi, what’s your deal?” a declaration of war.
But alas, the exercise was to come up with a question… so my final answer is: “Welcome! How do introductions work where you’re from? We’d like to understand how you prefer to get to know others, and we’d be glad to share how we do this here on Earth.”
It’s less “state your purpose” and more “take your time.”
It asks how they like to meet people, and it offers to share how we do it here. A fair trade, a bit of curiosity… It’s giving “let’s both dip our toes in the water” energy (assuming they have toes).
Of course, they could respond with silence. Or interpretive dance. Or, a pause followed by “You first.” If it’s the latter, I’ll be ready… I come from a long line of people who will let a casserole go cold rather than be the first one to serve themselves.
